Bridegroom: And now, dear, that we are married, let us have a clear understanding about our affairs. Do you wish to be president or vice-president? Bride (Sweetly): Neither. You be both. I'll be just the treasurer!
A girl was sitting on a park bench. Beggar: Hi sweetheart. Girl: How dare you call me sweetheart? Beggar: Then what the hell are you doing on my bed?
Teacher: What is your mother's name? Kid: Mom's last name must be "Honey" because that's what daddy calls her. Teacher: That's sweet. What's her first name? Kid: "Sorry", I think!
Teacher to a 4-year-old kid: What's your Mom's name? Kid: Mom's last name must be 'Darling' because that's what Daddy calls her every time. Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's 'Sorry'!